Tuesday, July 11, 2006

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well, finally after another of "holiday" i am back to here. start cracking for the post. I felt mi. i hv changed alot alrdy, to somebody tt is weaker, self confidence lacking. but its all ok. I still dunno y. I still think & love her..everyday.. though it's a type of suffering when somebody u love. doesnt love u at all. doesnt tink abt u at all. doesnt care for u much. Its life. so i hv to leave it to fate & destiny. i thot she will hv even a little feelings for mi in the 1st place. but i am wrong. after so long..i finally love somebody tt is deeper den the past girl i had. no wonder i became like this. weakened. agony all over. seldom smile since all tis . probs seems to be everyday none stop coming like everyday is my bdae. i receive countless presents. hope the same prob will stop..after listening to the same prob everyday. i feel tired. wat happen to mi nw ? i cant face her anymore. becoz of love...love can make u be brave & coward at a certain moment. i felt coward nw. towards her. i cant believe tt i changed to tis way. I hv been avoiding her for days & i may continue until the day i can clear off my mind. finally, they 2 sisters r back to one piece.. i dun feel happiness but i feel an xin. at least, they r back together. gd news. wish them both forever sisters. though tings wun return to back to normal anymore. but i noe i still hv 1 ting which is my "sweet memories" ..its the best gift i hv. at least i hv a "sweet memory" from them ba..to mi in life..even though we seldom contact le.. they r still impt & close ones to mi.. its hard to find somebody tt u feel u can be close wif..though tings happened in a negative way. but i din regret knowing the both of them ba.. i will continue life ... & wishing for a day i nv had b4 comes...WoW ~ tis is the 1st time i posted so long after so many entries. perhaps i'm having too many xin shi in my mind & heart le.. time to use letters to release them... & oso..i wish she will hv a happy bdae later on.. it's 1.20am nw..today is her bdae..hope she enjoy them..dun tink of the unhappiness or even mi..becoz i can only give her sadness & angriness.. perhaps watching someone u love been happy... is really a gd ting tt can ever be happening to mi ba...i can feel her smile & happiness coming sooner & sooner le.. yea...i am loaded off my mind ~ loving her after all may not be a bad ting anyway...at least i can experiencing...watching her aside.. getting her news from somewhere..when it's all positive, happiness inside mi cant be expressed out.. tt's all le ba.. i'm off le ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ take care everybody tt has viewed my blogggieeee...

The User | 1:15 AM


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