I lost myself, my spirit, my everything. Even my little smile flew away so quickly. Just because i went in army, everything will change. I change, you change, all change. depression is getting onto my head so quickly, now as i have a clearer state of myself, i will make this post my last, I gave in so much, i didnt expected to have any returns, but i expected not to be abandoned a side as well, in the past, your smile, your laugh, your happiness, is equivelent to my own happiness. It doesnt even matter whether i am the one suffering in the end, as long as you are happy, i am contented. You may change, it may be very painful to me, but for you it's worth it. There's alot of things i didnt want to be. My dream is to be by your side for life, my hope is to be the one you will depend on, though it didnt end up the way i wanted. I cant do anything about it. As now i am on the verge of dying, i cant take anymore stress even in army and outside. But i promised my bros, my frens, i will perseverve on. As for you, i wish you happy. Until now, i can feel the REAL stress, sadness, disappointment i having. At times i dont even know what i am doing at all, i might need to attend mentality checkup. Doesnt matter. All of this, done for you, is worth it. My painfulness text.
